The Fic Fairy Fights Crime
by Kawaii Goddess
Summary: The sequel to "The Fic Fairy"..... The title is pretty self-explanatory. Please review!


**The Perhaps Somewhat Exciting Adventures of the Fic Fairy**  
  
A quote: If you can't say anything nice about someone, say nothing. Then creep up behind them with a baseball bat and really let em have it. --John Gephart  
  
A/N: Things in *stars* are noises.  
A/N2: If you have not yet read [The Fic Fairy][1] then go do so now. This is the sequel to that.  
  
Disclaimer: I mean no offense to anyone by this chapter- the police force, ninjas, whoever. ********************************************************************  
**Part 2: The Fic Fairy Fights Crime**

  
  
_The Fic Fairy comes into view, looking rather pissed._  
  
Fairy: Okay, I stayed, so now what? When do you keep your half of the deal?  
  
Narrator: I will, just be patient!  
  
Fairy: **Sure** you will.  
  
Narrator: Shut up, or I won't. Now what kind of new outfit did you have in mind?  
  
Fairy: Something comfortable, with a little less skin showing.  
  
Narrator: Like this?  
  
_A *snap* is heard, and, with all the appropriate twinkly effects, the fairy is suddenly wearing a faded sweatsuit.  
  
The fairy looks upward unhappily.  
  
_ Fairy: This is **not** what I meant!  
  
Narrator: Oh, you want something a little more stylish?  
  
_Another *snap*, then the fairy is wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans and an extra-small grey T-shirt._  
  
Fairy: _*gasp*_ I can't breathe in this!  
  
Narrator: Oh, for a happy medium....  
  
_A final *snap* is heard. The fairy appears in a baggy pair of jeans and a light green tank top._  
  
Fairy: I suppose this will do. On to the "wand" issue.  
  
_A *pop* is heard, and four wands float in front of the fairy. One is glittery with a star on the end- a proper fairy's wand; one is a slender brown twig, most likely willow- a sorceress' wand; one is a skinny black paper rod with white tips- the wand of a stage magician. The last wand is lead or iron or some other suitably strong metal, with dragons carved around its thick body- this wand means **business**.  
  
The fairy choses the metal wand._  
  
Fairy: Okay, since that's settled, let's work on the "plot" business. I wanna fight crime.  
  
Narrator: How?  
  
Fairy: I dunno, what ways are there?  
  
Narrator: You could be a policeman-  
  
Fairy: Woman.  
  
Narrator: Hmm?  
  
Fairy: Policewoman. You said policeman.  
  
Narrator: Pardon me, oh feminist supreme.  
  
Fairy: Do I detect sarcasm, bozo?  
  
Narrator: Oh, no, of **course** not.  
  
_The narrator snickers.  
  
The fairy glares upward._  
  
Fairy: Okay, let's try this police thing. That sounds like fun.  
  
_A *vwoop* sound is heard, and suddenly the fairy is in a police uniform in a patrol car. She is sitting next to a large policeman who is holding a mug of coffee and a jelly donut._  
  
Policeman: Slow night, eh?  
  
Fairy: Ooh boy.  
  
_The fairy looks upwards._  
  
Fairy: This is not what I wanted. Get me outta here.  
  
Narrator: What, so soon? Have you fought crime already?  
  
Fairy: Shut up. Just get me out of here.  
  
Policeman: Hey, is everything okay?  
  
Fairy: No, it is **not** okay!  
  
Policeman: Want a donut?  
  
Fairy: Just shut up.  
  
Narrator: So what now?  
  
Fairy: How about a crime-fighting ninja?  
  
Narrator: A ninja?  
  
Fairy: Why not?  
  
Narrator: If you insist...  
  
Policeman: Hey, where's that voice coming from?  
  
_With a *vwoop* the fairy disappears, leaving the policeman looking puzzled.  
  
The scene shifts. Oriental music plays in the background._  
  
Fairy: Cut that out, willya?  
  
_The music stops._  
  
Fairy: Okay, less shots of the bamboo and other assorted foliage, more shots of me.  
  
_All the people out in Happy Reviewer Land see the fairy. She's dressed in a green kimono._  
  
Fairy: This is not ninja-garb.  
  
_A *snap* is heard, and the fairy is suddenly wearing the traditional "ninja-garb"- the loose black suit and sweatband tied behind her head.  
  
The fairy is standing in a small village, surrounded by cowering villagers._  
  
Villager #1: Ah! The bishoujo ninja the prophecies have foretold!  
  
_The fairy knocks the man unconscious with her wand._  
  
Fairy: The nerve! Calling me "bishoujo"...  
  
Narrator: Uh, "bishoujo" means "beautiful girl" in Japanese.  
  
Fairy: Oh. Sorry.  
  
Villager #2: The members of the Purple Eyeball Clan are ransacking our villages! You must stop them.  
  
Fairy: No problem. I'll handle those fools.  
  
Narrator: Well, here they come now...  
  
Fairy: I'll kill 'em. No problem.  
  
_The members of the Purple Eyeball Clan come into the village- riding horses and toting guns.  
  
The fairy's eyes widen._  
  
Fairy: Okay, maybe not.  
  
_The members of the Purple Eyeball Clan grin evilly at each other._  
  
Fairy: Naaaaaaaaaaaarrator! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!  
  
Narrator: So now **you** need **me**! Ha!  
  
_The fairy grits her teeth_.  
  
Fairy: Darn you! I just need out of here before they **shoot** me!  
  
Narrator: Say it...  
  
Fairy: Say what?  
  
Narrator: Say you need me!  
  
Fairy: You're evil!  
  
Narrator: Say it!  
  
Fairy: I need you! Now get me out of here!  
  
_The fairy is gone with a *vwoop* just as the Purple Foot Clan members begin to draw their guns._  
  
Narrator: Where to now?  
  
Fairy: No place. I've had enough excitement-  
  
Narrator: **Good**.  
  
Fairy: -for now...  
  


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   [1]: http://members.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=314774



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